October 17, 2013

The Pain of Others

When I hear or see something that pains another person, I feel their pain too. I have always thought that I need to protect myself from that. But, because of my need to draw closer to Jehovah and my newly found voice, I am wondering if that line of thinking was wrong. Is there a purpose for the pain I feel for others?

My first experience of feeling the pain of others was when I was a very young girl, maybe around 4 or so. I heard my mom crying in her bedroom. I came in and found her weeping. I didn't know why she was so upset. She was on the phone and I tried to get her to look at me, to tell me what was wrong but she couldn't. In that moment, all I could feel was the pain she was feeling and started weeping too. Now, I don't discount she had every right to be crying (she had just learned her best-friends 10 year old daughter had died) but her reaction to me crying was one of "why are you crying, you don't even know what happened, why I am crying." At that moment, I learned that unless you know what is going on, you have no right to join me in my pain. Although my heart still felt the pain of others, I kept it in, because that's what you do.

However, as life when on, I let a few drops of pain slip through and made them shown, made them known, let them affect my emotions. The trouble with that is I suffer from depression. So, in order to protect myself from the downward spiral of that dark place, I again stuffed the pain I felt for others.

As I have grown in my relationship with Jehovah, a funny thing has happened. I am allowing myself to feel the pain for others again.  Allowing myself to relate, to join in that pain and to help those heal from whatever pain they are feeling. So, again, I ask, is there a purpose for the pain I feel for others?

I truly feel there is! 

How can we help heal others from their pain, if we don't feel that pain right along    side them? 

How can we direct them to a God who completely understand their pain if we can't understand their pain?

This is my purpose for the pain I feel for others, to help others heal.  It is okay to allow those emotions in.  Because in the end, we know that Jehovah is right there with us, feeling it with us and helping us direct them to Him for healing.

Today I am linking up with other women who are writing about Pain for a Purpose.  Please follow the link below to read their amazing stories.

Jo Ann Fore

Have a Blessed Day!

October 9, 2013

Do You Hear That? The Sound of God's Voice?

This morning, I was praying to Jehovah, asking Him if what I was doing, this blog, finding my voice, my quest for the real truth, was the path He truly wanted me on.

You see, the doubt, starts really small. I can hear a comment from someone, and that just snowballs into full blown doubt. Satan works that way. Satan takes the smallest comment, action or thought and makes it grow until you can't think of anything else. At this point, I always have to remind myself, and sometimes it is hard, to pray. Get on my knees, have some quite time with absolutely no interruptions and pray, earnestly and honestly to Jehovah.

So, this morning, I was praying, earnestly for Jehovah to hear and answer my cry. As I was praying I had my music on shuffle and this song came on:

About half way through the middle, I started crying, deep cleansing sobs.  This was Jehovah's way of telling me that he is here, he is with me, he loves me and that I am truly doing what he has asked of me.

Sometimes Jehovah's voice is subtle, sometimes it is a quiet word from a friend, sometimes a blaring song pointing to the fact that he is here. How often do I just shake that feeling off, not listen to what He is trying to tell me?  All too often, I'm afraid.

Please pray this prayer with me, for you?

Our Dearest Loving Heavenly Father Jehovah:

Today I come to you to pray that I never loose sight of your voice.  Please teach me to learn to hear, listen and act on the sound of your voice.  I pray that whenever I hear your voice, that I take it at face value, that it IS you talking to me.  I pray that I NEVER doubt that what I am hearing is your voice.  As long as it aligns with your Word, Jehovah, I will know it is from you.

In Jesus' Name: AMEN

Photo Credit: Gay Idle

I am liking up with other beautiful ladies whom have learned to listen for the sweet sound of God's voice. Please follow this link to read their stories.

Jo Ann Fore

Have a blessed day!

October 2, 2013

How Do I Forgive?

Have I forgiven the one person who hurt me most? My abuser, my molester.   

I saw the obituary about three years ago. I just sat there, shocked, confused, angry, hurt and sad. Oh my, all those emotions rolled into one. I couldn't think. So, I sent a text off to my best friend. Thinking maybe she would know, would help me handle all that was going through my mind. She replied, call me. So, I did. And she asked me the one question I could not answer nor even ask myself. "Have you forgiven him?"

Well now, that through me for a total and complete loop. How do I forgive someone who abused the father/daughter-like relationship we had? How do I forgive someone who took all that innocence that a young little girl is supposed to have? How do I forgive someone who took the freedom of a happy childhood away? How do I forgive someone who taught this young girl to silence her voice, that her voice would not be believed if she used it?  How do I forgive someone for doing something I don't even fully remember them doing?

I knew at that moment, even though he was no longer around (I suspect he died from alcohol abuse, although I have never been told nor do I really care, all I care about at this point is that he is no longer able to hurt little impressionable girls.) that the most important step to me being able to form some sense of what happened all those years ago is that I needed to forgive him for what he did to me.

Have I forgiven him, even after all these years of thinking I have? I still don't know for sure. I do pray about it. I do ask Jehovah to help me let go. However when I think of that little girl, that little girl I so want to protect now but I know I can't, and all the pain, confusion, hurt, and loneliness she had, I'm not sure.

Please pray with me?

My Dearest Loving Father, Jehovah,

Today I come to you to ask that you help me search my heart, help me to completely and fully forgive this man. I know that this, this one thing I need to do before I can fully live free from this hard time, this silencing of my voice. But I now realize I need your total and complete help. Please help me to lean on you when this forgiveness gets hard, when I have all those feelings come back up. I pray Jehovah that you help me to find my voice again. You know I deeply regret not saying something to someone when I started to remember again so that maybe no other girls had to go through what I went through. Please Jehovah, I am begging, on my knees asking that you send your holy spirit to help me forgive so that I may help others do the same.

In Your Son's Name, Jesus, I pray this prayer.  Amen

As I was praying, this thought came to mind, maybe I will post on it another day: How do I forgive myself?  Forgive myself for not forcing my voice to be heard? For not stopping the abuse so that others may not have been abused?

Today I am pledging to use my voice, to use my voice to honor Jehovah, to use my voice to allow myself to heal so that I may someday help others heal from their past. Will you take the pledge with me? Please visit this link if you will.

Today I am also linking-up with some amazing women. Please click this link below to follow their stories on forgiveness, why we need it and their stories of healing found from forgiveness. I pray these posts bless you.

Jo Ann Fore

Have a blessed day!