January 16, 2014

Finally Free

As I've been walking through my journey to healing, I have come to realize that in order to come out on the other side, clean, whole, alive and well, I need to walk through all that I have stuffed, all that I have tried to ignore. The more I stuffed the emotions of my pain, the more I became bitter and angry. Not only at Jehovah, but at those I love the most. 

It came to pass about 6 months ago. Right before I got the invitation to join this the lovely Jo Ann Fore's book launch group for When a Woman Finds Her Voice.  Before we get to that, however, I need to tell you, my emotions, thoughts and feelings were controlled by the one who loves to deceive, Satan. I let my thoughts turn bitter against my marriage and towards my daughter, often lashing out at both my husband and my girl and making them feel like I didn't love them.

That point, 6 months ago, was the bottom. I had a huge argument with my husband because it all came crashing in, making me feel like I had nothing left. He left (because he had a job trip he could not get out of), I stayed on the couch all day and went into a deep depression. Two days later, I receive an email, Subject: "When A Woman Finds Her Voice Launch Team", First paragraph: "Congratulations, you made the team! I couldn't be more excited to be on this journey with you. Thank you from the depths of my heart for joining us. I cannot wait to see what God has in store." And I knew at that moment, right then and there, Jehovah was telling me, now's the time, heal and be free.

Through meeting the amazing women of this launch team, reading Jo Ann Fore's book through several times and actually wanting and believing in my heart I could heal and finally become free, I have. I know, many of you don't know all that I have been through, so, this may seem like a small feat, and I will get to all that eventually, however, I know, without a doubt, I am actually and truly free. I have reached that point where I can look back on my life and say I can see Jehovah there with me, right along side of me, guiding me along the way.  Even though, yes, I went through things no human being should ever have to go through, I know now that He will use all my pain to heal others.

My journey, however, is not done. Although I feel I am free, I know part of my journey will be, and should be, telling my story. More to come on that to come.

Please pray with me?

My Dearest Heavenly Father, Jehovah:

I pray for me and for the one reading this. I pray that you continue your work in healing both of us, healing our past hurts, so that we may continue our focus on You and what You want in our lives.

In Your Son, Jesus' Name: AMEN

Have a Blessed Day!